Ethnic Identity Is an Interactional Identity Essay Example for Free

Ethnic Identity Is an Interactional Identity Essay The word â€Å"ethnic† that we use in our daily life sometimes can be related to foreign origins, unusual, different, unique, traditional, and has cultural relation. Actually, the word of ethnic came from the Greek word â€Å"ethnos† used by Homer in Iliad on 7-8th BC which indicates a group of people that is different from â€Å"us†. However, as the time move forward, the word â€Å"ethnic† has been understood as stated above (foreign, unusual, different, unique, traditional, and cultural related). As I understand, ethnic group can be defined as a group of people that belief they share the same ancestry, history, cultural traits such as language and religion which are different from other group. Some said ethnic group is equal as cultural group. However, Edmund Leach who studied Kachin people in Burma (Myanmar) argued that by assuming that there are no differences between ethnic group and cultural group will lead to failure in addressing various aspects of ethnic phenomena (Dr. Rie Nakamura’s slide, What is an Ethnic Group? Ethnic troubles Theories of Ethnicity). The question here, what is the concept of ethnic identity as â€Å"interactional identity†? Before I explain further, I would like to define what ethnic identity is. According to Kanchan Chandra (2006), ethnic identity means an individual is eligible to be a member by determined his identity. There are four major components of ethnic identity: 1. Ethnic awareness (understanding of one’s own and other groups) 2. Ethnic self-identification (label used for one’s own group) 3. Ethnic attitudes (feeling about own and other groups) 4. Ethnic behaviors (behavior patterns specific to an ethnic group).

Fluoroquinolones for Infectious Diseases Treatment

Fluoroquinolones for Infectious Diseases Treatment 1.10 Pharmaceuticals 1.10.2 Fluoroquinolones Fluoroquinolones are extensively used for treatment of various infectious diseases. [[1]]. Because of their extensive Gram negative treatment, quinolone antibiotics were initially used for the treatment urinary tract related diseases. Higher drug concentrations promote their effectiveness in the treatment of urinary infections. lomefloxacin, levofloxacin ciprofloxacin, ofloxacin, enrofloxacin, and gatifloxacin have higher renal clearance to analyze the activity of the kidney and urine concentration test measures the ability of the kidneys to excrete water. Fluoroquinolones enter the environment by different routes including municipal and industrial wastewater effluent. The recent studies show that from many parts of the world reported the presence of fluoroquinolones in surface water bodies at concentrations ranging from non-detectable to around 50 ng dm-3 [[2]]. The existence and addition of fluoroquinolone antibiotics in aquatic environments, at very low concentrations, may cause affect to the ecosystem and human health. They require development of the different oxidation methods for the transformation of fluoroquinolones in water during water treatment. Disinfection processes (e.g., chlorination, oxidation, and UV irradiation) appear to result in considerable addition of fluoroquinolone and their transformation during municipal treatment of waste before to release into water stream [[3]]. An added disinfectant may undergo transformation reactions with antibacterial agents during water treatment. Sodium hypochlorite is a commonly intended for chlorination of water during disinfection process, and also potassium permanganate may be also used for disinfection processes[[4][5]]. Considering the occurrence of chlorine in municipal wastewater and drinking water disinfection processes, reactions with aqueous chlorine species likely play a particularly important role in the environmental fate of fluoroquinolones. Levofloxacin Levofloxacin is in a class of antibacterial agent called fluoroquinolones. It is used for the treatment of certain bacterial infections. Levofloxacin is used to treat certain infections such as urinary tract, chronic pneumonia, bronchitis, kidney and skin infections. Levofloxacin may used to prevent anthrax in people who may have been open to anthrax germs in the air. It works by destroying bacteria that causes infections. Antibiotics will not work for viral infections, flu, colds, or other diseases. Lomefloxacin Structure of Lomefloxacin (LMF) Lomefloxacin is also class of fluoroquinolones antibacterial agent.This used to treat a wide range of bacterial infections. It is used to treat bacterial infections including bronchitis and urinary tract infections. Lomefloxacin is associated with photo toxicity and central nervous system adverse effects [[6]]. 1.10.3 Oxazolidinones The oxazolidinones, a new class of synthetic antibacterial agents have a distinctive mechanism of to contorol bacterial protein synthesis. The oxazolidinone to be approved for clinical use, show in-vitro activity against many important resistant harmful organisms. Clinical trials verified the action in the setting of pneumonia soft-tissue, and skin infections, and infections due to vancomycin-resistant. [[7]]. Linezolid Linezolid is an antibacterial agent used to treat certain serious bacterial infections that have not taken action from other antibacterial agents. Linezolid is not only used to treats bacterial infections, but also for viral infections. Unnecessary use or over use of any antibiotic can lead to its reduces effectiveness. Linezolid is a relatively safe drug; it can be used in patients of all ages and in people with poor kidney function or liver disease [[8]]. The current study was undertaken to elucidate reaction products, kinetics, and mechanism between free available chlorine (FAC) or permanganate with fluoroquinolones class of antibacterial agents such as levofloxacin (LFC) Lomefloxacin (LMF) and oxazolidinone class of antibacterial agent linezolid (LNZ). Which are the most popular for disease control and prevention in the recently are used. 1.10.1. Routes of pharmaceuticals entering into the environment The figures 1.4.a. and 1.4.b. and figure 1.5 shows that a large fraction of clinically prescribed antibiotic dose is discharged into municipal waste water systems due to incomplete metabolism of antibiotics within the human body. (Rain) runoff water carries the hospital wastes to rivers and contaminates the river water. In recent years, there has been growing concern about the presence of pharmaceuticals in the aquatic environment. Continuous exposure of antibiotics to bacterial communities, promotes the bacteria to develop antibiotic resistance. Possible induction of antibiotic resistance in bacteria is directly related to human health. The action of antibiotics during water treatment process clearly plays a significant role in this regard. Antibacterials and other pharmaceutical are having the tendency to persist contaminants in the water supply is of increasing concern in the field of environmental toxicology. Several national and international bodies have reported the presence of antibacterials in surface water, ground water, drinking water, and waste water [[9]]. Antibacterials were primarily observed as â€Å"wonder medicines† mainly because they were introduced from surgical drains or spontaneous cure were available to treat serious bacterial diseases. Many classes of these antibacterial agents were discovered in the last five to six decades. These include penicillins, sulfonamides, trimethoprim, chloramphenicol, cephalosporins, colimycins, tetracyclines, lincosamides etc, [[10]]. Understanding the fate and transportation of antibacterial agents in the aquatic environment is vital to properly assess the risk associated with these emerging contaminants [[11]]. What happens to these antibacterial agents during municipal water treatment? Municipal water treatment essentially involve following processes; The steps involved in conventional water treatment method are shown in the above flow diagram. The aeration process is carried out to remove the odor from the water. The filtration is the removal of the solids, specially suspended matter, by passing the water through a granular media (sand, coal, diatomaceous earth, granular activated carbon). The colloidal particles pass through the filtration process and removed using coagulants in the flocculation process. The micro contaminants, which are dissolved in water, can easily pass through aeration, filtration and flocculation processes but they may react with the disinfectants in the last process. What are the commonly used disinfectants? Chlorine: Chlorine gas, NaOCl, Bleaching powder, Conventional water treatment Chloramines: Weak disinfectant and low rate of reaction Ozone: Costly UV/H2O2: Costly Not suitable for Municipal water treatment KMnO4: Potassium permanganate is usually applied for waste water treatment 1.11 Disinfection Disinfection is the process of killing pathogenic organisms like bacteria and viruses in the drinking water supply. It is the last step in the treatment and is necessary to supply a â€Å"bacteriologically free† drinking water for the general public usage. Disinfection is the necessary step before the public water supplies. Chlorination is the treatment technique of killing harmful microorganisms in water supplies. 1.11.1 Chlorination An added layer of complexity in this problem lies in the potential bio-transformation antibacterial agents can undergo during drinking water chlorination. Chlorination, in the form of sodium hypochlorite, is a common mechanism of drinking water disinfection. [[12]]. Chlorination has been shown degradation of certain parent drugs in drinking water [[13]]. The effect of chlorination has been studied for several non antibacterials. However, these studies are few in comparison to the variety of pharmaceutical contaminants our environment faces [[14]]. A long-term objective of this research work is to know the fate of antibacterial in the water supply when they are exposed to chlorination and oxidation in the drinking water treatment process. Microorganisms can be found in raw water like rivers, lakes and groundwater. Some microorganisms may cause diseases in human and are called pathogens. These pathogens existing in water can be transmitted through a drinking water distribution system, causes water related diseases. The use of chlorine in the water treatment process was originally directed to the primary function of disinfection. Chlorination is one of the methods that can be used to make germ-free water. This method was first used over a hundred years ago, and is still it is continued. It is a chemical disinfection method that uses various types of chlorine or chlorine-containing substances for the oxidation and disinfection of what will be the potable water source. 1.11.2 Importance and benefits of chlorination of water Many investigations and studies have been carried out to make sure success in new treatment plants using chlorine as a cleaning agent. An important benefit of chlorination is that it has effective against viruses and bacteria. The three most common types of chlorinating agents used in water treatment are: Ca (OCl)2 (calcium hypochlorite), NaOCl (sodium hypochlorite), and Cl2 (chlorine) gas, Any type of chlorinating agent is added to water during the water treatment process will lead to form of hypochlorous acid (HOCl) and hypochlorite ion (OCl), which are the main disinfecting species. Of the two disinfecting species, hypochlorous acid is the most effective. The amount of each compound present in the water is dependent on the pH level of the water. At lower pH levels, the hypochlorous acid will dominant. The quantity of chlorine that is required to disinfect water is depends on the impurities in the water. The amount of chlorine that is required to satisfy all the impurities is termed the ‘chlorine demand. Once the chlorine demand has been reached is called breakpoint chlorination i.e., the addition of chlorine to water until the chlorine demand has been fulfilled. After the breakpoint, any extra chlorine added will result in free chlorine residual, residual chlorine can react with a number of different contaminants present in raw water The main purpose of chlorination is to disinfect water, but it also has many other benefits. Unlike some of the other disinfection methods like ozonation and ultraviolet radiation, chlorination is able to provide a residual to reduce the chance of growing pathogens in water storage tanks or the water distribution system. 1.11.3 Types of chlorinating agents 1.11.3 .1 Chlorine Gas Chlorine gas is good disinfectant, but it is toxic to more than just waterborne pathogens; it is also toxic to humans. When chlorine gas (Cl2) is added to the water (H2O), it hydrolyzes rapidly to produce hypochlorous acid (HOCl) and the hypochlorous acid will then dissociate into hypochlorite ions (OCl) and hydrogen ions (H+). Because hydrogen ions are produced, the water will become more acidic (the pH of the water will decrease). The amount of dissociation depends on the original pH of the water. If the pH of the water is below a 6.5, nearly no dissociation will occur and the hypochlorous acid will dominate. A pH above 8.5 will see a complete dissociation of chlorine, and hypochlorite ions will dominate. A pH between 6.5 and 8.5 will see both hypochlorous acid and hypochlorite ions present in the water. Together, the hypochlorous acid and the hypochlorite ions are referred to as free chlorine. Hypchlorous acid is the more effective disinfectant, and therefore, a lower pH is preferred for disinfection. 1.11.3.2 Calcium hypochlorite Calcium hypochlorite Ca (OCl) 2 is made up of the calcium salts of hypochlorous acid. When treating water, a lesser amount of calcium hypochlorite is needed than if using chlorine gas. When calcium hypochlorite is added to water, hypochlorite and calcium ions are produced. Instead of decreasing the pH like chlorine gas does, calcium hypochlorite increases the pH of the water. However, hypochlorous acid and hypochlorite concentrations are still dependent on the pH of the water; therefore by decreasing the pH of the water, hypochlorous acid will still be present in the water. As a result, calcium hypochlorite and chlorine gas both produce the same type of residuals. 1.11.3 .3 Sodium hypochlorite Sodium hypochlorite (NaOCl) is made up of the sodium salts of hypochlorous acid and is a chlorine-containing compound that can be used as a disinfectant. It is produced when chlorine gas is dissolved into a sodium hydroxide solution. It is in liquid form, clear with a light yellow color, and has a strong chlorine smell. Sodium hypochlorite is extremely corrosive and must be stored in a cool, dark, and dry place. Sodium hypochlorite will naturally decompose; therefore it cannot be stored for more than one month at a time. Of all the different types of chlorine available for use, this is the easiest to handle. Like calcium hypochlorite, sodium hypochlorite will also produce a hypochlorite ion, but instead of calcium ions, sodium ions are produced. NaOCl will also increase the pH of the water through the formation of hypochlorite ions. To obtain hypochlorous acid, which is a more effective disinfectant, the pH of the water should be decreased. In drinking water, the concentration of chlorine is usually very low and is thus not a concern in acute exposure. More of a concern is the long term risk of cancer due to chronic exposure to chlorinated water. Chlorination is a very conventional method of water disinfection that has been used from several years. It is efficient for destroying viruses and bacteria. 1.12 Aqueous chlorination chemistry In water treatment, gaseous chlorine Cl2 or hypochlorite are commonly used for chlorination processes. Chlorine gas (Cl2) hydrolyzes in water according to the following reaction: Fig.1.5. Relative distribution of main aqueous chlorine species as a function of pH at 25 ËÅ ¡C and for a chloride concentration Where k1 and k-1 values, calculated at  µ=0 M and 25ËÅ ¡C from Wang and Margerum, are 22.3 s-1 and 4.3Ãâ€"104 M-2 s-1, respectively. For temperatures between 0 and 25 1ËÅ ¡C, KCl2 ranges from 1.3Ãâ€"10-4 to 5.1Ãâ€"10-4 [[15]]. Hypochlorous acid resulting from reaction (1), is a weak acid which dissociates in aqueous solution: With KHOCl reported in literature between 1.5Ãâ€"10-8 (pKaHOCl,0ËÅ ¡C = 7.82) and 2.9Ãâ€"10-8 (pKaHOCl,25ËÅ ¡C= 7.54) for temperatures between 0 and 25 ËÅ ¡C [[16]]. Under typical water treatment conditions in the pH range 6–9, hypochlorous acid and hypochlorite are the main chlorine species. Depending on the temperature and pH level, different distributions of aqueous chlorine species are observed. Fig. 1.6. Shows the distribution of HOCl and ClO as a function of the pH at 25ËÅ ¡C and for a chloride concentration of 5Ãâ€"10-3 M (177.5mgL-1). For these high chloride concentrations, Fig. 1 6. shows that Cl2 hydrolysis is almost complete at pH >4. Therefore, Cl2 can usually be neglected under typical drinking water treatment conditions [[17]]. References 1 [1]. P.C.Sharma, A. Jain and S. Jain, Fluoroquinolone antibacterial: a review on chemistry, Microbiology and therapeutic prospects, Acta Poloniae Pharmaceutica-Drug Res, Vol. 66 , 2009, pp. 587-604. [2]. P.Wang, Y.L. He and C.H. Huang, Oxidation of fluoroquinolone antibiotics and structurally related amines by chlorine dioxide: Reaction kinetics, product and pathway, Eval. Water res. vol.4 4, 2010, pp.5989-5998. [3]. M.C. Dodd , A.Shah ,U. V.Gunten and C. H.Huang, â€Å" Interactions of Fluoroquinolone Antibacterial Agents with Aqueous Chlorine: Reaction -Kinetics, Mechanisms, and Transformation Pathways† Environ. Sci. Technol. Vol.39, 2005, pp. 7065-7076. [4]. S. D. Richardson and T. A. Ternes, Emerging contaminants and current issues,† â€Å"Water analysis, Analytical Chemistry, vol. 77(12), 2005, pp. 3807–3838. [5] .J. Gibs, P. E. Stackelberg, E. T. Furlong, M. Meyer, S. D. Zaugg, and R. L. Lippincott, â€Å"Persistence of pharmaceuticals and other organic compounds in chlorinated drinking water as a function of time,† Science of the Total Environment, vol. 373(1), 2007 ,pp. 240–249. [6]. E.Rubinstein, History of quinolones and their side effects.† Chemotherapy 2001,47 (Suppl 3): 3 [7]. D.J. Diekema and R.N Jones. Oxazolidinone antibiotics. Lancet. 2001, 358 (9297):1975-82. Review. Pub Med PMID: 11747939. [8]. A.E. Barnhill, M.T. Brewer and S.A. Carlson. Adverse effects of antimicrobials via predictable or idiosyncratic inhibition of host mitochondrial components. Antimicrob. Agent. Chemother., 2012,Vol.56 (8):pp. 4046–4051. [9]. T C. Melton and S. D. Brown, Hindawi Publishing Corporation International Journal of Medicinal Chemistry, Vol. 2012, pp.1-6. [10] .S. H. Zinner, Antibiotic use: present and future, New microbiologica, Vol.30, 2007, pp. 321-325. [11] .H.C. Zhang, W. R. Chen and C.H. Huang Kinetic Modeling of Oxidation of Antibacterial Agents by Manganese Oxide, Environ. Sci. Tech., Vol. 42(15), 2008, pp. 5548–5554. [12]. S. D. Richardson and T. A. Ternes, â€Å"Water analysis: emerging contaminants and current issues,† Anal. Chem., Vol.77 (12), 2005, pp. 3807–3838. [13]. J. Gibs, P. E. Stackelberg, E. T. Furlong, M. Meyer, S. D. Zaugg, and R. L. Lippincott, â€Å"Persistence of pharmaceuticals and other organic compounds in chlorinated drinking water as a function of time,† Sci. Tot. Environ. Vol. 373(1), 2007, pp. 240–249. [14]. Z. Li, H. Fenet, E. Gomez, and S. Chiron, â€Å"Transformation of the antiepileptic drug oxcarbazepine upon different water disinfection processes,† Water Res., Vol. 45(4), 2011, pp. 1587– 1596. [15]. T.X. Wang and D.W.Margerum,. Kinetics of reversible chlorine hydrolysis: temperature dependence and general-acid/ base-assisted mechanisms. Inorg. Chem. Vol.33, 1994, pp.1050–1055. [16]. J.C.Morris, The acid ionization constant of HOCl from 5 to 351. J. Phys. Chem. Vol.70, 1966, pp.3798–3805. [17]. M. Deborde, U.V. Gunten, Reactions of chlorine with inorganic and organic compounds during water treatment—Kinetics and mechanisms: A critical review, water res., Vol. 42, 2008, pp.13 – 51.

Big Mamas Funeral :: Mama Funeral

Big Mama's Funeral Gabriel García Márquez story, Big Mama's Funeral, is a story filled with fantastical scenes and events much in line with Don Quixote and Candide. The introductory paragraphs of Big Mama's Funeral and Candide sound so similar in voice the two authors could be mistaken for the same. In Candide, one finds a series of episodes that are so far from the truth and yet perfectly explainable. The story of the fate of Dr. Pangloss, the death and resurrection of Cunegund and of her Jesuit brother, and the story of the old woman with one buttock are farcical in the same way as the episodes in Big Mama's Funeral. In Don Quixote, we find a man, for the most part average, who wishes to become a knight-errant. In his quest is as series of happenings so ridiculous they are nothing short of tabloid-style sensationalism, or drug induced hallucinations. In Big Mama's Funeral, we are told the story of the death and funeral of Big Mama. In the events of her life and the days proceeding and proceeding her death we find events and stories of the past that are truly fantastical. In the annals of her past we find that in her family the "uncles married the daughters of their nieces, and the cousins married their aunts, and the brothers their sisters-in-law, until an intricate mesh of consanguinity was formed." Here, García Márquez takes the simple act of incestuous relationships, which do occur, and elevates them to an extreme level. This is the writing style of García Márquez and the two aforementioned writers, Cervantes and Voltaire. Big Mama's Funeral :: Mama Funeral Big Mama's Funeral Gabriel García Márquez story, Big Mama's Funeral, is a story filled with fantastical scenes and events much in line with Don Quixote and Candide. The introductory paragraphs of Big Mama's Funeral and Candide sound so similar in voice the two authors could be mistaken for the same. In Candide, one finds a series of episodes that are so far from the truth and yet perfectly explainable. The story of the fate of Dr. Pangloss, the death and resurrection of Cunegund and of her Jesuit brother, and the story of the old woman with one buttock are farcical in the same way as the episodes in Big Mama's Funeral. In Don Quixote, we find a man, for the most part average, who wishes to become a knight-errant. In his quest is as series of happenings so ridiculous they are nothing short of tabloid-style sensationalism, or drug induced hallucinations. In Big Mama's Funeral, we are told the story of the death and funeral of Big Mama. In the events of her life and the days proceeding and proceeding her death we find events and stories of the past that are truly fantastical. In the annals of her past we find that in her family the "uncles married the daughters of their nieces, and the cousins married their aunts, and the brothers their sisters-in-law, until an intricate mesh of consanguinity was formed." Here, García Márquez takes the simple act of incestuous relationships, which do occur, and elevates them to an extreme level. This is the writing style of García Márquez and the two aforementioned writers, Cervantes and Voltaire.

Ocean Discovery Teaches Animal Cruelty :: essays research papers fc

At Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo, CA a new exhibit was opened to provide an interactive experience with the parks residents. These â€Å"Ocean Discovery† exhibits now include a 200,000 gallon tank containing three to five of the parks 14 Atlantic Bottlenose Dolphins. The dolphins have been removed from their natural habitats deprived from an annexed refuge and placed in petting pools poorly located and smaller than that of an average living room. In these petting pools, dolphins are feed buy the visitors who reward the mammals by giving them fish in return for letting the humans touch them. The most dominate of the dolphins and those most willing to accept human touch receives the most human attention in return getting the most fish. In some cases visitors have been observed feeding french fries, sandwiches, and even left over soda to the dolphins. One report observed dolphins in a petting pool so obese the blow holes which the mammals expel air from had been covered by fat cells To escape the constant feeding and noise some parks have added refuges where the dolphins may go if they do not chose to interact however no such refuge has been added to the pool at Marine World. The dolphins must interact continuously through out the twelve hour day of the park and then many hours after closing as they are put through medical checks, pool maintenance, training   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Robinett 2 and feeding. Marine World representatives state that the dolphins could avoid interaction by swimming to the edge of the pool where the visitors were not allowed access. On a recent visit to the park, people were observed on all sides of the pool. They continue this work day with out breaks as visitors have non-stop access during the parks operating hours seven days a week. The pool Marine World had created for the dolphins is located directly below two of its largest and busiest attractions, two roller coasters called Vertical Velocity and Roar which not only brings noise levels into the unpleasant scenario but sends a rather noticeable vibration through the ground with each pass of the rides car. Unfortunately for the dolphins, this location also does not include much shade, is close to the nearby interstate, parking lot, and fairgrounds. Legislation on how these pools are kept would, their occupants treated and visitors educated, petting pools such as these will continue to be harmful to the

Chemistry Coursework †Fuels Essay -- GCSE Chemistry Coursework Invest

Chemistry coursework – Fuels Planning ======== Aim --- In this investigation I will have to find out which of the alcohol fuels: methanol, ethanol, propanol and butanol, is the best. The ‘best’ one will be the one which creates the most energy whilst burning. Introduction and prediction --------------------------- A fuel is a substance burned for heat or power. The best type of fuel is one that: can be transported safely without the worry of it catching on fire, gives out a lot of heat for a certain mass, does not cost very much, lights quickly, burns slowly, is safe to use and does not give off any form of polluting gases. When burning alcohols, as I am going to do in this investigation, the reaction is exothermic as heat is given out. Breaking the bonds of the original alcohol by burning requires energy-it is endothermic, making the bonds of the new products of burning the alcohol ie carbon dioxide and water gives out energy-it is exothermic. I predict that Butanol will require the most energy as it has the most bonds holding the carbon, oxygen and hydrogen atoms together. Propanol will require the second largest amount of energy, Ethanol the third and Methanol the least amount of energy to break these bonds. Methanol CH3OH Ethanol C2H5OH Propanol C3H7OH Butanol C4H9OH Pentanol C5H10OH Therefore I predict that Methanol will be the ‘best’ fuel, followed by Ethanol, then Propanol and the worst fuel will be Buta...

Bag of Bones CHAPTER THREE

My publisher didn't know, my editor Debra Weinstock didn't know, my agent Harold Oblowski didn't know. Frank Arlen didn't know, either, although on more than one occasion I had been tempted to tell him. Let me be your brother. For Jo's sake if not your own, he told me on the day he went back to his printing business and mostly solitary life in the southern Maine town of Sanford. I had never expected to take him up on that, and didn't not in the elemental cry-for-help way he might have been thinking about but I phoned him every couple of weeks or so. Guy-talk, you know How's it going, Not too bad, cold as a witch's tit, Yeah, here, too, You want to go down to Boston if I can get Bruins tickets, Maybe next year, pretty busy right now, Yeah, I know how that is, seeya, Mikey, Okay, Frank, keep your wee-wee in the teepee. Guy-talk. I'm pretty sure that once or twice he asked me if I was working on a new book, and I think I said Oh, fuck it that's a lie, okay? One so ingrown that now I'm even telling it to myself. He asked, all right, and I always said yeah, I was working on a new book, it was going good, real good. I was tempted more than once to tell him I can't write two paragraphs without going into total mental and physical doglock my heartbeat doubles, then triples, I get short of breath and then start to pant, my eyes feel like they're going to pop out of my head and hang there on my cheeks. I'm like a claustrophobe in a sinking submarine. That's how it's going, thanks for asking, but I never did. I don't call for help. I can't call for help. I think I told you that. From my admittedly prejudiced standpoint, successful novelists even modestly successful novelists have got the best gig in the creative arts. It's true that people buy more CDS than books, go to more movies, and watch a lot more TV. But the arc of productivity is longer for novelists, perhaps because readers are a little brighter than fans of the non-written arts, and thus have marginally longer memories. David Soul of Starsky and Hutch is God knows where, same with that peculiar white rapper Vanilla Ice, but in 1994, Herman Wouk, James Michener, and Norman Mailer were all still around; talk about when dinosaurs walked the earth. Arthur Hailey was writing a new book (that was the rumor, anyway, and it turned out to be true), Thomas Harris could take seven years between Lecters and still produce bestsellers, and although not heard from in almost forty years, J. D. Salinger was still a hot topic in English classes and informal coffee-house literary groups. Readers have a loyalty that cannot be matched anywhere else in the creative arts, which explains why so many writers who have run out of gas can keep coasting anyway, propelled onto the bestseller lists by the magic words AUTHOR OF on the covers of their books. What the publisher wants in return, especially from an author who can be counted on to sell 500,000 or so copies of each novel in hardcover and a million more in paperback, is perfectly simple: a book a year. That, the wallahs in New York have determined, is the optimum. Three hundred and eighty pages bound by string or glue every twelve months, a beginning, a middle, and an end, continuing main character like Kinsey Millhone or Kay Scarpetta optional but very much preferred. Readers love continuing characters; it's like coming back to family. Less than a book a year and you're screwing up the publisher's investment in you, hampering your business manager's ability to continue floating all of your credit cards, and jeopardizing your agent's ability to pay his shrink on time. Also, there's always some fan attrition when you take too long. Can't be helped. Just as, if you publish too much, there are readers who'll say, ‘Phew, I've had enough of this guy for awhile, it's all starting to taste like beans.' I tell you all this so you'll understand how I could spend four years using my computer as the world's most expensive Scrabble board, and no one ever suspected. Writer's block? What writer's block? We don't got no steenkin writer's block. How could anyone think such a thing when there was a new Michael Noonan suspense novel appearing each fall just like clockwork, perfect for your late-summer pleasure reading, folks, and by the way, don't forget that the holidays are coming and that all your relatives would also probably enjoy the new Noonan, which can he had at Borders at a thirty percent discount, oy vay, such a deal. The secret is simple, and I am not the only popular novelist in America who knows it if the rumors are correct, Danielle Steel (to name just one) has been using the Noonan Formula for decades. You see, although I have published a book a year starting with Being Two in 1984, I wrote two books in four of those ten years, publishing one and ratholing the other. I don't remember ever talking about this with Jo, and since she never asked, I always assumed she understood what I was doing: saving up nuts. It wasn't writer's block I was thinking of, though. Shit, I was just having fun. By February of 1995, after crashing and burning with at least two good ideas (that particular function the Eureka! thing has never stopped, which creates its own special version of hell), I could no longer deny the obvious: I was in the worst sort of trouble a writer can get into, barring Alzheimer's or a cataclysmic stroke. Still, I had four cardboard manuscript boxes in the big safe-deposit box I keep up at Fidelity Union. They were marked Promise, Threat, Darcy, and Top. Around Valentine's Day, my agent called, moderately nervous I usually delivered my latest masterpiece to him by January, and here it was already half-past February. They would have to crash production to get this year's Mike Noonan out in time for the annual Christmas buying orgy. Was everything all right? This was my first chance to say things were a country mile from all but Mr. Harold Oblowski of 225 Park Avenue wasn't the sort of man you said such things to. He was a fine agent, both liked and loathed in publishing circles (sometimes by the same people at the same time), but he didn't adapt well to bad news from the dark and oil.treaked levels where the goods were actually produced. He would have freaked and been on the next plane to Derry, ready to give me creative mouth-to-mouth, adamant in his resolve not to leave until he had yanked me out of my fugue. No, I liked Harold right where he was, in his thirty-eighth-floor office with its kickass view of the East Side. I told him what a coincidence, Harold, you calling on the very day I finished the new one, gosharooty, how 'bout that, I'll send it out FedEx, you'll have it tomorrow. Harold assured me solemnly that there was no coincidence about it, that where his writers were concerned, he was telepathic. Then he congratulated me and hung up. Two hours later I received his bouquet-every bit as fulsome and silky as one of his Jimmy Hollywood ascots. After putting the flowers in the dining room, where I rarely went since Jo died, I went down to Fidelity Union. I used my key, the bank manager used his, and soon enough I was on my way to FedEx with the manuscript of All the Way from the Top. I took the most recent book because it was the one closest to the front of the box, that's all. In November it was published just in time for the Christmas rush. I dedicated it to the memory of my late, beloved wife, Johanna. It went to number eleven on the Times bestseller list, and everyone went home happy. Even me. Because things would get better, wouldn't they? No one had terminal writer's block, did they (well, with the possible exception of Harper Lee)? All I had to do was relax, as the chorus girl said to the archbishop. And thank God I'd been a good squirrel and saved up my nuts. I was still optimistic the following year when I drove down to the Federal Express office with Threatening Behavior. That one was written in the fall of 1991, and had been one of Jo's favorites. Optimism had faded quite a little bit by March of 1997, when I drove through a wet snowstorm with Darcy's Admirer, although when people asked me how it was going (‘Writing any good books lately?' is the existential way most seem to phrase the question), I still answered good, fine, yeah, writing lots of good books lately, they're pouring out of me like shit out of a cow's ass. After Harold had read Darcy and pronounced it my best ever, a best-seller which was also serious, I hesitantly broached the idea of taking a year off. He responded immediately with the question I detest above all others: was I all right? Sure, I told him, fine as freckles, just thinking about easing off a little. There followed one of those patented Harold Oblowski silences, which were meant to convey that you were being a terrific asshole, but because Harold liked you so much, he was trying to think of the gentlest possible way of telling you so. This is a wonderful trick, but one I saw through about six years ago. Actually, it was Jo who saw through it. ‘He's only pretending compassion,' she said. ‘Actually, he's like a cop in one of those old film noir movies, keeping his mouth shut so you'll blunder ahead and end up confessing to everything.' This time I kept my mouth shut just switched the phone from my right ear to my left, and rocked back a little further in my office chair. When I did, my eye fell on the framed photograph over my computer Sara Laughs, our place on Dark Score Lake. I hadn't been there in eons, and for a moment I consciously wondered why. Then Harold's voice cautious, comforting, the voice of a sane man trying to talk a lunatic out of what he hopes will be no more than a passing delusion was back in my ear. ‘That might not be a good idea, Mike not at this stage of your career.' ‘This isn't a stage,' I said. ‘I peaked in 1991 since then, my sales haven't really gone up or down. This is a plateau, Harold.' ‘Yes,' he said, ‘and writers who've reached that steady state really only have two choices in terms of sales they can continue as they are, or they can go down.' So I go down, I thought of saying . . . but didn't. I didn't want Harold to know exactly how deep this went, or how shaky the ground under me was. I didn't want him to know that I was now having heart palpitations-yes, I mean this literally almost every time I opened the Word Six program on my computer and looked at the blank screen and flashing cursor. ‘Yeah,' I said. ‘Okay. Message received.' ‘You're sure you're all right?' ‘Does the book read like I'm wrong, Harold?' ‘Hell, no it's a helluva yarn. Your personal best, I told you. A great read but also fucking serious shit. If Saul Bellow wrote romantic suspense fiction, this is what he'd write. But . . . you're not having any trouble with :the next one, are you? I know you're still missing Jo, hell, we all are ‘ ‘No,' I said. ‘No trouble at all.' Another of those long silences ensued. I endured it. At last Harold said, ‘Grisham could afford to take a year off. Clancy could. Thomas Harris, the long silences are a part of his mystique. But where you are, life is even tougher than at the very top, Mike. There are five writers for every one of those spots down on the list, and you know who they are hell, they're your neighbors three months a year. Some are going up, the way Patricia Cornwell went up with her last two books, some are going down, and some are staying steady, like you. If Tom Clancy were to go on hiatus for five years and then bring Jack Ryan back, he'd come back strong, no argument. If you go on hiatus for five years, maybe you don't come back at all. My advice is ‘ ‘Make hay while the sun shines.' ‘Took the words right out of my mouth.' We talked a little more, then said our goodbyes. I leaned back further in my office chair not all the way to the tip over point but close and looked at the photo of our western Maine retreat. Sara Laughs, sort of like the title of that hoary old Hall and Oates ballad. Jo had loved it more, true enough, but only by a little, so why had I been staying away? Bill Dean, the caretaker, took down the storm shutters every spring and put them back up every fall, drained the pipes in the fall and made sure the pump was running in the spring, checked the generator and took care to see that all the maintenance tags were current, anchored the swimming float fifty yards or so off our little lick of beach after each Memorial Day. Bill had the chimney cleaned in the early summer of '96, although there hadn't been a fire in the fireplace for two years or more. I paid him quarterly, as is the custom with caretakers in that part of the world; Bill Dean, old Yankee from a long line of them, cashed my checks and didn't ask why I never used my place anymore. I'd only been down two or three times since Jo died, and not a single overnight. Good thing Bill didn't ask, because I don't know what answer I would have given him. I hadn't even really thought about Sara Laughs until my conversation with Harold. Thinking of Harold, I looked away from the photo and back at the phone. Imagined saying to him, So I go down, so what? The world comes to an end? Please. It isn't as if I had a wife and family to support the wife died in a drugstore parking lot, if you please (or even if you don't please), and the kid we wanted so badly and tried for so long went with her, I don't crave the fame, either if writers who fill the lower slots on the Times bestseller list can be said to be famous and I don't fall asleep dreaming of book club sales. So why? Why does it even bother me? But that last one I could answer. Because it felt like giving up. Because without my wife and my work, I was a superfluous man living alone in a big house that was all paid for, doing nothing but the newspaper crossword over lunch. I pushed on with what passed for my life. I forgot about Sara Laughs (or some part of me that didn't want to go there buried the idea) and spent another sweltering, miserable summer in Derry. I put a cruciverbalist program on my Powerbook and began making my own crossword puzzles. I took an interim appointment on the local YMCA's board of directors and judged the Summer Arts Competition in Waterville. I did a series of TV ads for the local homeless shelter, which was staggering toward bankruptcy, then served on that board for awhile. (At one public meeting of this latter board a woman called me a friend of degenerates, to which I replied, ‘Thanks! I needed that.' This resulted in a loud outburst of applause which I still don't understand.) I tried some one-on-one counselling and gave it up after five appointments, deciding that the counsellor's problems were far worse than mine. I sponsored an Asian child and bowled with a league. Sometimes I tried to write, and every time I did, I locked up. Once, when I tried to force a sentence or two (any sentence or two, just as long as they came fresh-baked out of my own head), I had to grab the wastebasket and vomit into it. I vomited until I thought it was going to kill me . . . and I did have to literally crawl away from the desk and the computer, pulling myself across the deep-pile rug on my hands and knees. By the time I got to the other side of the room, it was better. I could even look back over my shoulder at the VDT screen. I just couldn't get near it. Later that day, I approached it with my eyes shut and turned it off. More and more often during those late-summer days I thought of Dennison Carville, the creative-writing teacher who'd helped me connect with Harold and who had damned Being Two with such faint praise. Camille once said something I never forgot, attributing it to Thomas Hardy, the Victorian novelist and poet. Perhaps Hardy did say it, but I've never found it repeated, not in Bartlett's, not in the Hardy biography I read between the publications of All the Way from the Top and Threatening Behavior. I have an idea Carville may have made it up himself and then attributed it to Hardy in order to give it more weight. It's a ploy I have used myself from time to time, I'm ashamed to say. In any case, I thought about this quote more and more as I struggled with the panic in my body and the frozen feeling in my head, that awful locked-up feeling. It seemed to sum up my despair and my growing certainty that I would never be able to write again (what a tragedy, V. C. Andrews with a prick felled by writer's block). It was this quote that suggested any effort I made to better my situation might be meaningless even if it succeeded. According to gloomy old Dennison Carville, the aspiring novelist should understand from the outset that fiction's goals were forever beyond his reach, that the job was an exercise in futility. ‘Compared to the dullest human being actually walking about on the face of the earth and casting his shadow there,' Hardy supposedly said, ‘the most brilliantly drawn character in a novel is but a bag of bones.' I understood because that was what I felt like in those interminable, dissembling days: a bag of bones. Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. If there is any more beautiful and haunting first line in English fiction, I've never read it. And it was a line I had cause to think of a lot during the fall of 1997 and the winter of 1998. I didn't dream of Manderley, of course, but of Sara Laughs, which Jo sometimes called ‘the hideout.' A fair enough description, I guess, for a place so far up in the western Maine woods that it's not really even in a town at all, but in an unincorporated area designated on state maps as RR-90. The last of these dreams was a nightmare, but until that one they had a kind of surreal simplicity. They were dreams I'd awake from wanting to turn on the bedroom light so I could reconfirm my place in reality before going back to sleep. You know how the air feels before a thunderstorm, how everything gets still and colors seem to stand out with the brilliance of things seen during a high fever? My winter dreams of Sara Laughs were like that, each leaving me with a feeling that was not quite sickness. I've dreamt again of Manderley, I would think sometimes, and sometimes I would lie in bed with the light on, listening to the wind outside, looking into the bedroom's shadowy corners, and thinking that Rebecca de Winter hadn't drowned in a bay but in Dark Score Lake. That she had gone down, gurgling and flailing, her strange black eyes full of water, while the loons cried out indifferently in the twilight. Sometimes I would get up and drink a glass of water. Sometimes I just turned off the light after I was once more sure of where I was, rolled over on my side again, and went back to sleep. In the daytime I rarely thought of Sara Laughs at all, and it was only much later that I realized something is badly out of whack when there is such a dichotomy between a person's waking and sleeping lives. I think that Harold Oblowski's call in October of 1997 was what kicked off the dreams. Harold's ostensible reason for calling was to congratulate me on the impending release of Darcy's Admirer, which was entertaining as hell and which also contained some extremely thought-provoking shit. I suspected he had at least one other item on his agenda Harold usually does and I was right. He'd had lunch with Debra Weinstock, my editor, the day before, and they had gotten talking about the fall of 1998. ‘Looks crowded,' he said, meaning the fall lists, meaning specifically the fiction half of the fall lists. ‘And there are some surprise additions. Dean Koontz ‘ ‘I thought he usually published in January,' I said. ‘He does, but Debra hears this one may be delayed. He wants to add a section, or something. Also there's a Harold Robbins, The Predators ‘ ‘Big deal.' ‘Robbins still has his fans, Mike, still has his fans. As you yourself have pointed out on more than one occasion, fiction writers have a long arc.' ‘Uh-huh.' I switched the telephone to the other ear and leaned back in my chair. I caught a glimpse of the framed Sara Laughs photo over my desk when I did. I would be visiting it at greater length and proximity that night in my dreams, although I didn't know that then; all I knew then was that I wished like almighty fuck that Harold Oblowski would hurry up and get to the point. ‘I sense impatience, Michael my boy,' Harold said. ‘Did I catch you at your desk? Are you writing?' ‘Just finished for the day,' I said. ‘I am thinking about lunch, however.' ‘I'll be quick,' he promised, ‘but hang with me, this is important. There may be as many as five other writers that we didn't expect publishing next fall: Ken Follett . . . it's supposed to be his best since Eye of the Needle . . . Belva Plain . . . John Jakes . . . ‘ ‘None of those guys plays tennis on my court,' I said, although I knew that was not exactly Harold's point; Harold's point was that there are only fifteen slots on the Times list. ‘How about Jean Auel, finally publishing the next of her sex-among-the-cave-people epics?' I sat up. ‘Jean Auel? Really?' ‘Well . . . not a hundred percent, but it looks good. Last but not least is a new Mary Higgins Clark. I know what tennis court she plays on, and so do you.' If I'd gotten that sort of news six or seven years earlier, when I'd felt I had a great deal more to protect, I would have been frothing; Mary Higgins Clark did play on the same court, shared exactly the same audience, and so far our publishing schedules had been arranged to keep us out of each other's way . . . which was to my benefit rather than hers, let me assure you. Going nose to nose, she would cream me. As the late Jim Croce so wisely observed, you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Mary Higgins Clark. Not if you're Michael Noonan, anyway. ‘How did this happen?' I asked. I don't think my tone was particularly ominous, but Harold replied in the nervous, stumbling-all-over-his-own-words fashion of a man who suspects he may be fired or even beheaded for bearing evil tidings. ‘I don't know. She just happened to get an extra idea this year, I guess. That does happen, I've been told.' As a fellow who had taken his share of double-dips I knew it did, so I simply asked Harold what he wanted. It seemed the quickest and easiest way to get him to relinquish the phone. The answer was no surprise; what he and Debra both wanted not to mention all the rest of my Putnam pals was a book they could publish in late summer of '98, thus getting in front of Ms. Clark and the rest of the competition by a couple of months. Then, in November, the Putnam sales reps would give the novel a healthy second push, with the Christmas season in mind. ‘So they say,' I replied. Like most novelists (and in this regard the successful are no different from the unsuccessful, indicating there might be some merit to the idea as well as the usual free-floating paranoia), I never trusted publishers' promises. ‘I think you can believe them on this, Mike Darcy's Admirer was the last book of your old contract, remember.' Harold sounded almost sprightly at the thought of forthcoming contract negotiations with Debra Weinstock and Phyllis Grann at Putnam. ‘The big thing is they still like you. They'd like you even more, I think, if they saw pages with your name on them before Thanksgiving.' ‘They want me to give them the next book in November? Next month?' I injected what I hoped was the right note of incredulity into my voice, just as if I hadn't had Helen's Promise in a safe-deposit box for almost eleven years. It had been the first nut I had stored; it was now the only nut I had left. ‘No, no, you could have until January fifteenth, at least,' he said, trying to sound magnanimous. I found myself wondering where he and Debra had gotten their lunch. Some fly place, I would have bet my life on that. Maybe Four Seasons. Johanna always used to call that place Valli and the Four Seasons. ‘It means they'd have to crash production, seriously crash it, but they're willing to do that. The real question is whether or not you could crash production.' ‘I think I could, but it'll cost em,' I said. ‘Tell them to think of it as being like same-day service on your dry-cleaning.' ‘Oh what a rotten shame for them!' Harold sounded as if he were maybe jacking off and had reached the point where Old Faithful splurts and everybody snaps their Instamatics. ‘How much do you think ‘ ‘A surcharge tacked on to the advance is probably the way to go,' he said. ‘They'll get pouty of course, claim that the move is in your interest, too. Primarily in your interest, even. But based on the extra-work argument . . . the midnight oil you'll have to burn . . . ‘ ‘The mental agony of creation . . . the pangs of premature birth . . . ‘ ‘Right . . . right . . . I think a ten percent surcharge sounds about right.' He spoke judiciously, like a man trying to be just as damned fair as he possibly could. Myself, I was wondering how many women would induce birth a month or so early if they got paid two or three hundred grand extra for doing so. Probably some questions are best left unanswered. And in my case, what difference did it make? The goddam thing was written, wasn't it? ‘Well, see if you can make the deal,' I said. ‘Yes, but I don't think we want to be talking about just a single book here, okay? I think ‘ ‘Harold, what I want right now is to eat some lunch.' ‘You sound a little tense, Michael. Is everything ‘ ‘Everything is fine. Talk to them about just one book, with a sweetener for speeding up production at my end. Okay?' ‘Okay,' he said after one of his most significant pauses. ‘But I hope this doesn't mean that you won't entertain a three- or four-book contract later on. Make hay while the sun shines, remember. It's the motto Of champions.' ‘Cross each bridge when you come to it is the motto of champions,' I said, and that night I dreamt I went to Sara Laughs again. In that dream in all the dreams I had that fall and winter I am walking up the lane to the lodge. The lane is a two-mile loop through the woods with ends opening onto Route 68. It has a number at either end (Lane Forty-two, if it matters) in case you have to call in a fire, but no name. Nor did Jo and I ever give it one, not even between ourselves. It is narrow, really just a double rut with timothy and witchgrass growing on the crown. When you drive in, you can hear that grass whispering like low voices against the undercarriage of your car or truck. I don't drive in the dream, though. I never drive. In these dreams I walk. The trees huddle in close on either side of the lane. The darkening sky overhead is little more than a slot. Soon I will be able to see the first peeping stars. Sunset is past. Crickets chirr. Loons cry on the lake. Small things chipmunks, probably, or the occasional squirrel rustle in the woods. Now I come to a dirt driveway sloping down the hill on my right. It is our driveway, marked with a little wooden sign which reads SARA LAUGHS. I stand at the head of it, but I don't go down. Below is the lodge. It's all logs and added-on wings, with a deck jutting out behind. Fourteen rooms in all, a ridiculous number of rooms. It should look ugly and awkward, but somehow it does not. There is a brave-dowager quality to Sara, the look of a lady pressing resolutely on toward her hundredth year, still taking pretty good strides in spite of her arthritic hips and gimpy old knees. The central section is the oldest, dating back to 1900 or so. Other sections were added in the thirties, forties, and sixties. Once it was a hunting lodge; for a brief period in the early seventies it was home to a small commune of transcendental hippies. These were lease or rental deals; the owners from the late forties until 1984 were the Hingermans, Darren and Marie . . . then Marie alone when Darren died in 1971. The only visible addition from our period of ownership is the tiny DSS dish mounted on the central roofpeak. That was Johanna's idea, and she never really got a chance to enjoy it. Beyond the house, the lake glimmers in the afterglow of sunset. The driveway, I see, is carpeted with brown pine needles and littered with fallen branches. The bushes which grow on either side of it have run wild, reaching out to one another like lovers across the narrowed gap which separates them. If you brought a car down here, the branches would scrape and unpleasantly against its sides. Below, I see, there's moss growing logs of the main house, and three large sunflowers with faces like have grown up through the boards of the little driveway-side. The overall feeling is not neglect, exactly, but forgottenness. There is a breath of breeze, and its coldness on my skin makes me that I have been sweating. I can smell pine a smell which is sour and clean at the same time and the faint but somehow smell of the lake. Dark Score is one of the cleanest, deepest in Maine. It was bigger until the late thirties, Marie Hingerman us; that was when Western Maine Electric, working hand in hand the mills and paper operations around Rumford, had gotten state to dam the Gessa River. Marie also showed us some charming photographs of white-frocked ladies and vested gentlemen in canoes snaps were from the time of the First World War, she said, and to one of the young women, frozen forever on the rim of the with a dripping paddle upraised. ‘That's my mother,' she said, the man she's threatening with the paddle is my father.' Loons crying, their voices like loss. Now I can see Venus in the dark-sky. Star light, star bright, wish I may, wish I might . . . in these I always wish for Johanna. With my wish made, I try to walk down the driveway. Of course I do. Its my house, isn't it? Where else would I go but my house, now that dark and now that the stealthy rustling in the woods seems closer and somehow more purposeful? Where else can I go? It's dark, and it will be frightening to go into that dark place alone (suppose been left so long alone? suppose she's angry?), but I must. If the electricity's off, I'll light one of the hurricane lamps we keep in a kitchen cabinet. I can't go down. My legs won't move. It's as if my body knows something about the house down there that my brain does not. The breeze rises again, chilling gooseflesh out onto my skin, and I wonder what I have done to get myself all sweaty like this. Have I been running? And if so, what have I been running toward? Or from? My hair is sweaty, too; it lies on my brow in an unpleasantly heavy clump. I raise my hand to brush it away and see there is a shallow cut, fairly recent, running across the back, just beyond the knuckles. Sometimes this cut is on my right hand, sometimes it's on the left. I think, If this is a dream, the details are good. Always that same thought: If this is a dream, the details are good. It's the absolute truth. They are a novelist's details . . . but in dreams, perhaps everyone is a novelist. How is one to know? Now Sara Laughs is only a dark hulk down below, and I realize I don't want to go down there, anyway. I am a man who has trained his mind to misbehave, and I can imagine too many things waiting for me inside. A rabid raccoon crouched in a corner of the kitchen. Bats in the bath-room if disturbed they'll crowd the air around my cringing face, squeaking and fluttering against my cheeks with their dusty wings. Even one of William Denbrough's famous Creatures from Beyond the Universe, now hiding under the porch and watching me approach with glittering, pus-rimmed eyes. ‘Well, I can't stay up here,' I say, but my legs won't move, and it seems I will be staying up here, where the driveway meets the lane; that I will be staying up here, like it or not. Now the rustling in the woods behind me sounds not like small animals (most of them would by then be nested or burrowed for the night, anyway) but approaching footsteps. I try to turn and see, but I can't even do that . . . . . . and that was where I usually woke up. The first thing I always did was to turn over, establishing my return to reality by demonstrating to myself that my body would once more obey my mind. Sometimes most times, actually I would find myself thinking Manderley, I have dreamt again of Manderley. There was something creepy about this (there's something creepy about any repeating dream, I think, about knowing your subconscious is digging obsessively at some object that won't be dislodged), but I would be lying if I didn't add that some part of me enjoyed the breathless summer calm in which the dream always wrapped me, and that part also enjoyed the sadness and foreboding I felt when I awoke. There was an exotic strangeness to the dream that was missing from my waking life, now that the road leading out of my imagination was so effectively blocked. The only time I remember being really frightened (and I must tell I don't completely trust any of these memories, because for so long they didn't seem to exist at all) was when I awoke one night speaking clearly into the dark of my bedroom: ‘Something's behind me, don't let it get me, something in the woods, please don't let it get me.' wasn't the words themselves that frightened me so much as the tone in which they were spoken. It was the voice of a man on the raw edge of panic, and hardly seemed like my own voice at all. Two days before Christmas of 1997, I once more drove down to Fidelity where once more the bank manager escorted me to my safe-box in the fluorescent-lit catacombs. As we walked down the stairs he assured me (for the dozenth time, at least) that his wife was a huge fan of my work, she'd read all my books, couldn't get enough. For the dozenth time (at least) I replied that now I must get him in my clutches. He responded with his usual chuckle. I thought of this oft-repeated exchange as Banker's Communion. Mr. Quinlan inserted his key in Slot A and turned it. Then, as discreetly as a pimp who has conveyed a customer to a whore's crib, he left. I inserted my own key in Slot B, turned it, and opened the drawer. It very vast now. The one remaining manuscript box seemed almost to quail in the far corner, like an abandoned puppy who somehow knows his sibs have been taken off and gassed. Promise was scrawled across the top in fat black letters. I could barely remember what the goddam story was about. I snatched that time-traveller from the eighties and slammed the box shut. Nothing left in there now but dust. Give me that, Jo had hissed in my dream it was the first time I'd thought of that one in years. Give me that, it's my dust-catcher. Mr Quinlan, I'm finished,' I called. My voice sounded rough and unsteady to my own ears, but Quinlan seemed to sense nothing wrong . . . or perhaps he was just being discreet. I can't have been the only customer after all, who found his or her visits to this financial version of Forest Lawn emotionally distressful. ‘I'm really going to read one of your books,' he said, dropping an involuntary little glance at the box I was holding (I suppose I could have brought a briefcase to put it in, but on those expeditions I never did). ‘In fact, I think I'll put it on my list of New Year's resolutions.' ‘You do that,' I said. ‘You just do that, Mr. Quinlan.' ‘Mark,' he said. ‘Please.' He'd said this before, too. I had composed two letters, which I slipped into the manuscript box before setting out for Federal Express. Both had been written on my computer, which my body would let me use as long as I chose the Note Pad function. It was only opening Word Six that caused the storms to start. I never tried to compose a novel using the Note Pad function, understanding that if I did, I'd likely lose that option, too . . . not to mention my ability to play Scrabble and do crosswords on the machine. I had tried a couple of times to compose longhand, with spectacular lack of success. The problem wasn't what I had once heard described as ‘screen shyness'; I had proved that to myself. One of the notes was to Harold, the other to Debra Weinstock, and both said pretty much the same thing: here's the new book, Helen's Promise, hope you like it as much as I do, if it seems a little rough it's because I had to work a lot of extra hours to finish it this soon, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Erin Go Bragh, trick or treat, hope someone gives you a fucking pony. I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter-eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low-pressure time that's one of the things I love about it), with Helen's Promise under my left arm and a paperback copy of Nelson DeMille's The Charm School in my right hand. I read almost fifty pages before entrusting my final unpublished novel to a harried-looking clerk. When I wished her a Merry Christmas she shuddered and said nothing.

Professional Values for the BSN Student Essay

Nursing students as training professionals in the field of hospital has to have the ability to handle ethical issues within the said industry. Undeniably though, it is essential enough to consider this particular matter when dealing with healthcare professions such as nursing. True, being a nurse requires one to become highly involved in different human operations and are thus more susceptible to issues that are related to the said situations. Consequently, the said healthcare professionals are required to learn different levels of ethical concerns even during their training years yet. This particular training ensures them of the capabilities that they have to at least manifest their personal concern for their patients as well as their professional standing for the performance of their duties towards their clients.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚     Being a nurse itself requires hard work and perseverance in treating patients from different ages, genders and situations. According to the Department of Nursing Education, applicants for the nursing job must have certain characteristics that will help them give the needed medication for the patients they care for. The said characteristics particularly involve that of the five major values of professionalism that must be given full attention by nurses in performing their duties to the public. The five values include Altruism, Autonomy, Human Dignity, Integrity, and Social Justice. First to be attended in discussion is that of the value of autonomy and altruism which suggests that individuals be able to perform at a minimum level of supervision provided to them my their administrational officials. Among these characteristics is being able to functionally use the five major senses in a fast paced demand of performance. Another is being able to observe a client at a certain distance, also being able to use muscular movements along with the functions of the major senses in coordination. In short, a nurse who would deal with patients in the emergency room must be able to do multi-tasking to become an asset nurse to the medical team.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   Human dignity and integrity is also conscientiously considered within the process as the situations are being dealt with by the nurses in their profession. This includes the basic application of the major rules of nursing in actual operations in handling the health cases of the patients who are in need of careful assistance. As an addition to these attitudes or characters, the basic understanding of a nurse on the hospital rules regarding visitation and family involvement in the medication is also a vital factor that must be considered. According to Laura Marco, â€Å"Family life is vital to a person’s health†; this is why family participation must always be considered as a necessary agent in medicating any patient. In short, family participation must be continuous in order to achieve the â€Å"total care therapeutic surroundings.†   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   One of the key factors also considered in the abilities that a perfect nurse should acquire is being able to demonstrate utilization of intellectual strength. This means that a nurse must be able to dispose off good judgment even when he is faced with exceptionally complicated and serious medical cases. A nurse must be able to promptly complete all responsibilities such as attending to the care of each patient brought in the emergency room. To become an asset to the medical team, a nurse should be able to think in a mature way and tolerate â€Å"physically taxing workloads† and yet still function at the best performance possible. Stress is always a part of the nursing job. Professionalism is also an important factor to be considered in nursing. In emergency situations, it should be preempted by the nurse to receive negative and demanding commands from the patient or the relatives as well. Remaining calm and continuously focused to aiding the patient should keep the nurse remains in his professional characteristics. In this way, instead of making the situation worse, the attending nurse would even be able to help the relatives and the patient himself to remain calm in the middle of a strenuous situation. This particular value actually involves the consideration that each nurse places on their responsibility to pose social justice in their work. Professionalism involves the consideration that each nurse palaces on the ethical standards that they are placing as part of their professional basis of competency at work.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   Yes, being a nurse has never been an easy task, and being a part of a medical team to help patients during emergency cases is much more demanding. But the strong and ideal efforts of a nurse placed in his job could help him attain the required attributes that a perfect nurse should have. His determination to continuously improve and develop his skills in becoming the perfect nurse is among the key concepts to help him attain his best in his chosen career. References: Lewis, Sharon M. Medical-Surgical Nursing: Assessment and Management of Clinical Problems, Single Volume.(1999). Brooklyn New York. Potter, A. Fundamentals of Nursing. (2000). San Francisco California. Barnes, S. Fundamentals of Nursing: Concepts, Process, and Practice, Seventh Study Guide Edition. (2002). Chicago Press. Chicago.